Beautiful and heart-breaking. The only stories I’ve read are about the courage and resilience of the Ukrainian people; I haven’t seen any articles that are positive towards the Russians, other than that they are being lied to about the war so poor them. Do you have recommendations for English-language news sources? I’d like to learn more.
The West has a massive problem with trying to humanize abusers and ignoring the victims. My country just elected an abuser as president. I'm a domestic abuse survivor and I experienced people trying to take his side and try to convince me it was all my fault. That if I'd just change everything about myself and be the person he wanted, everything would be fine.
That's why the abusive ex analogy works so well for me with russia's invasion. I've lived it. I know it's true.
Rachel, I’m very sorry you experienced domestic abuse and that some people blamed you instead of the abuser. I’ve been in a similar situation, and I know what it feels like. I hope you know that it was not your fault and that even if you did everything the abuser wanted, he would still find a reason to justify his abuse.
I also see this analogy, and it’s so clear. The biases people have against Ukrainians are the same biases against abuse victims. I don’t know how to break them, only to continue speaking about it.
This tendency to appease the bully/abuser and sideline the victim is so prevalent in schools and throughout society. One is conditioned to it, even in "nice" schools and homes. And it's something that needs to be broken.
I always love to hear the human stories about Ukraine. It's why I follow Ukrainians, not just the politicians or journalists or news outlets. I want to get to know real people, listen to their stories, laugh with them, cry with them...help them to know they are not alone.
Darya, I’ve been thinking about your poignant words for days, and Rachel’s comment about the West trying to humanize abusers and ignore victims. I keep asking myself, “Why? What is the benefit to the West, in suppressing Ukrainian narratives and elevating russian ones?” When I think of why Ukraine’s fight is so important to me, an answer of sorts appears: “Resistance is not futile. Resistance is actually effective.”
This lesson is what I think western media does not want its public to see. If average westerners fully saw how human Ukrainians are, then westerners would relate to Ukrainians as equals. If westerners then saw how effective homegrown Ukrainian resistance can be, they would be inspired to demand true democracy from their own governments and a motivated people would be far harder for the powers in their own countries to manipulate.
Resistance is effective. Solidarity is effective. Democracy needs active defense. Ukrainians are exemplifying truths that power brokers want to hide, so the uplifting stories are suppressed, while profiles of status-quo abusers are elevated. The stronger and more freedom-seeking we are, the more the old global regime seeks to control and silence us.
I agree with you, Sky. I think Ukrainian resistance indeed scares too many because they don’t want others to get the idea that it’s possible to resist like this and be the ones to decide your own fate.
And the (suppressed) wake-up call for the west is that we don’t embody democratic ideals as much or as well as Ukrainians are trying to do. Who has the highest percentages of avowed Nazis in their legislatures? Not Ukraine.
The Western world is more afraid of Russia than empathic toward Ukraine. Like a marriage in the hours of ending, the west has learned to stop feeling. They will accept the loss, blame the partner and find a reason not to feel the pain.
“I read the stories of Ukrainian women
who lost their men in the war.
They ask how to live
when the love of your life
is not alive anymore.
I don’t know what to say.
I press *heart*,
turn off the phone,
and hug my husband as tight as I can.”
made me cry — in a good way.
❤️❤️🩹
Beautiful and heart-breaking. The only stories I’ve read are about the courage and resilience of the Ukrainian people; I haven’t seen any articles that are positive towards the Russians, other than that they are being lied to about the war so poor them. Do you have recommendations for English-language news sources? I’d like to learn more.
Thank you so much for your support, Teri! I recommend these Ukrainian sources (you can find all of them on almost every social media as well):
Note: if you click on these links from Substack app, you should press on a link and hold, in order for it to open in a new tab on your phone.
1) https://war.ukraine.ua/format/stories/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ukraine.ua/
2) https://united24media.com/life-in-ukraine
3) https://kyivindependent.com/tag/explaining-ukraine/
4) https://www.ukrainer.net/thread-en/war/
5) https://euromaidanpress.com/category/russian-aggression/russian-ukrainian-war-news/
6) Newsletter and podcast about Russian colonialism:
https://maksymeristavi.substack.com/
https://www.pravda.com.ua/eng/podcasts/65c2310fc902c/
7) Podcast that amplifies Ukrainian voices:
https://linktr.ee/ukrainianspaces
Thank for this list!
Glad to help!
The West has a massive problem with trying to humanize abusers and ignoring the victims. My country just elected an abuser as president. I'm a domestic abuse survivor and I experienced people trying to take his side and try to convince me it was all my fault. That if I'd just change everything about myself and be the person he wanted, everything would be fine.
That's why the abusive ex analogy works so well for me with russia's invasion. I've lived it. I know it's true.
Rachel, I’m very sorry you experienced domestic abuse and that some people blamed you instead of the abuser. I’ve been in a similar situation, and I know what it feels like. I hope you know that it was not your fault and that even if you did everything the abuser wanted, he would still find a reason to justify his abuse.
I also see this analogy, and it’s so clear. The biases people have against Ukrainians are the same biases against abuse victims. I don’t know how to break them, only to continue speaking about it.
This tendency to appease the bully/abuser and sideline the victim is so prevalent in schools and throughout society. One is conditioned to it, even in "nice" schools and homes. And it's something that needs to be broken.
I always love to hear the human stories about Ukraine. It's why I follow Ukrainians, not just the politicians or journalists or news outlets. I want to get to know real people, listen to their stories, laugh with them, cry with them...help them to know they are not alone.
I agree, we need to break this cycle, and it starts with every one of us. However, I don't know if we ever achieve it on a grander scale.
I'm with you! The only way to receive real connection is by listening to the stories people tell.
Darya, I’ve been thinking about your poignant words for days, and Rachel’s comment about the West trying to humanize abusers and ignore victims. I keep asking myself, “Why? What is the benefit to the West, in suppressing Ukrainian narratives and elevating russian ones?” When I think of why Ukraine’s fight is so important to me, an answer of sorts appears: “Resistance is not futile. Resistance is actually effective.”
This lesson is what I think western media does not want its public to see. If average westerners fully saw how human Ukrainians are, then westerners would relate to Ukrainians as equals. If westerners then saw how effective homegrown Ukrainian resistance can be, they would be inspired to demand true democracy from their own governments and a motivated people would be far harder for the powers in their own countries to manipulate.
Resistance is effective. Solidarity is effective. Democracy needs active defense. Ukrainians are exemplifying truths that power brokers want to hide, so the uplifting stories are suppressed, while profiles of status-quo abusers are elevated. The stronger and more freedom-seeking we are, the more the old global regime seeks to control and silence us.
I agree with you, Sky. I think Ukrainian resistance indeed scares too many because they don’t want others to get the idea that it’s possible to resist like this and be the ones to decide your own fate.
And the (suppressed) wake-up call for the west is that we don’t embody democratic ideals as much or as well as Ukrainians are trying to do. Who has the highest percentages of avowed Nazis in their legislatures? Not Ukraine.
Can you recommend any news sources where we can read those stories too? It’s easy to put stuff through a translation program now.
Yes, I already shared them in this thread. You can scroll a little higher to find it.
I also shared them in a note:
https://substack.com/profile/139029160-darya-zorka/note/c-79614537?r=2arvl4&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action
Beautiful
Thank you
Thank you.
🙏
The Western world is more afraid of Russia than empathic toward Ukraine. Like a marriage in the hours of ending, the west has learned to stop feeling. They will accept the loss, blame the partner and find a reason not to feel the pain.
I agree