Marathon

The third year of war and a new poem.

It’s been almost 2.5 years since Russians started a full-scale invasion of Ukraine. During the first year, many people, including me, were hoping that the powerful democracies of this world would intervene and the war would be quickly stopped. It didn’t happen. There were lots of thoughts and prayers, lots of empty promises, lots of political games, lots of Russian money, fear, ignorance, missed opportunities, and time, which led to hundreds of thousands of deaths. It showed how big the gap was between those who were born in democracy and took it for granted and those who fought and died for it. 

In the first year of the invasion, I remember people were saying that this war was not a sprint but a marathon. I understood they were right, but I still hoped for a miracle. In the third year, I look back and see that the majority of my friends and acquaintances dropped out after several weeks, some after several months, some after a year. The circle of friends narrowed to the point that it soon stopped existing altogether. I lost patience explaining why I cared about Ukraine so much, people lost interest in war and suffering. I stopped being that fun and easygoing friend I always was. My jokes became darker, the conversations always came back to Ukraine. People online whom I’ve never met in real life showed more support and understanding than people I knew for decades.

Looking at how my friends stopped checking on me one by one, I thought that if Russia didn’t invade Ukraine, probably I would not become an activist, my friends would stay with me, and my life wouldn’t change so drastically. At the same time, I’m grateful for the lessons I was taught and for being shown the true colors of the people around me. It saved me from toxicity, hypocrisy, and the danger of fake friendships. Trying to save Ukraine, I was being rescued myself.

I don’t know how long this marathon will last, but I know for sure that we can’t stop halfway because this is not only about Ukraine – it is about our world and our humanity.

A new poem I wrote this week:

***

I’ve never seen so many funerals in my life.
Every day, someone bright and young dies.
Every day, I read obituaries 
of someone my age,
look at the faces of the people 
who just lost the love of their lives.

Baby showers at the graves.
“My darling, we will have a girl.”
How can you watch it and don’t feel 
this enormous, aching, burning pain?
That’s why so many people 
don’t watch it at all.

I have a choice to keep living my life.
Do not look at the photos, avoid the news.
People say: “Why do you care so much? 
You don’t live in Ukraine.”

I can’t reach their hearts, 
but I can keep mine wide open.
Because I will never forgive myself 
if I look away.

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I posted a new family recipe from Eastern Europe a few days ago. If you missed it, you can view it here:

Warmly,

Darya

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Email: daryazorka@substack.com

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