That’s really lovely. I remember the anticipation of our regular family holidays at a quiet beach town and your essay brought that all back. Your grandmother sounds like an amazing woman! Such special memories.
Darya, I was enjoying your journey more and more, the beautiful scenery, the interesting people, and I was even feeling the vibrations of the train, until that last paragraph suddenly ended my pleasant daydream. I am so sorry for what happened (because of the russian invaders) to your grandmother and the rest of your family, and to so many other innocent people.
Thank you, Bill! This is exactly how it feels like in real life. You live your usual life with its moments of everyday joys, until suddenly it ends, because Russians decided that they want your land, your house, everything you have and they want you to serve them. If you don’t agree, they will wage a war on you.
Dear Darya, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I have these negative feelings about Russia, too, although of course not in the intensity that you are having them. My memories are from around 1990, to give you some context. I have no contact to those people anymore and think it would be an embarrassment if they talked to me today.
Great description of your childhood adventure. It really sparked the imagination and made me want to be there. I hope you get to fulfill the dream to return to Crimea and that a time will come when these times will feel like a distant nightmare.
Apr 28, 2023·edited Apr 28, 2023Liked by Darya Zorka
The news of the ruzzian air strike is prompting me to say more. As f'ing outrageous and sadly sickening were the attacks, apparently the "orcs" (1st time I have ever used that term, but no other seems appropriate) published a news release bragging that the attack was "on target","on goal". What's almost as bad is that there are many people who just don't care about what is happening in Eastern Europe, not because they are bad or stupid but because IMHO the legacy media sources do not do a good job contextualizing. For sure, the big hitters will publish pictures and report this or that attack but then they move on and talk about the Kardashians.
As imperfect as were are as a species, and as imperfect as the western democracies can seem, at least we value human potential. Your grandmother is/was an example of what so many so people in ruzzian don't get, we want a world where everyone with potential can find pathways to realize their full human potential. It isn't about cis this, or a trans that...it is what is possible when people are free to follow their dreams.
What kind of world brags about targeting civilian infrastructures, spends millions of dollars for the purpose of terrorizing innocent civilians....
So, as glib, as my initial response was to your well written post. It, your train experiences, helped to contextualize the struggle going on in Eastern Europe. They remind me of what it means to be human, to have a human life.
I believe where I am from, commuter train service was phased out just before my 10th birthday. My personal experiences with train rides were the opposite. My father developed schizophrenia when I was about 5 or 6. It did not come on gradually, but suddenly and back then it was considered hopeless. People were locked up. As a child, I took everything matter of factly, except when my mother would wake us (without warning) in the middle of the night, make us put on our best clothes and then have us walk about two miles to the closest train depot. From there it was about a three hour train ride to Ponoka.
The train rides were from south to north, and we could at least catch the "morning sun" but other than that I was bored. Later in life I grew to appreciate the rolling yellow canola fields but back then I was missing "cartoons" or playing soccer. The mental institution itself was no Crimea. It was all kind of surreal, everything was so antiseptic, and empty like the movie set at Downton Abbey without the actors. Some might use the word "gothic" to describe the grounds at the institution, but to a young boy it was "boring."
My last memory of our train trips was a meeting my father's doctor had with my parents. Both of my parents were there, and the doctor was almost scolding my father telling him how lucky he was to have my mother as a wife. Like everything, I never understood what was going on but later, much later, perhaps too late even I eventually did. I guess back then some sort miracle drug had become mainstream and for my father the excesses of his illnesses were containable.
It's impossible to predict what our childhood experiences have on us, nor the effect of strong people have on shaping the trajectory of our life, but I know with an 100% certainty that the people in Eastern Europe want the same sort of freedoms that many in the west either take for granted or don't fully understand.
One thing that many don't understand in the "west", including myself, is how to counter the informational war ruzzia is waging. I like your posts Darya, I believe in your posts in that they can and will help us to understand what the war is really about which is what has more value to society, human potential or the net worth of the so called Enlighted few like Putin and his kind.
Thank you for sharing your memories, David! I’m really sorry that your father suffered from schizophrenia, and I remember you mentioning that you were not on good terms with him and that he caused you trauma. I don’t have a relationship with my dad, so I can relate. I hope that in future you’ll have a pleasant train ride to some beautiful place (not necessary in Ukraine, but somewhere else), that will override these negative associations and traumatic memories.
I’m glad to hear that my writing helps you to understand more about Ukraine and Eastern Europe, that’s my goal! By sharing my memories, I hope to connect people with my native region and show that we are all humans with the same feelings, dreams and struggles; that we have so much in common, despite being from different countries and even continents.
It was probably narcissistic of me to write what I did, and when I did. This "war" is unhinging me, and the news this morning just re-amped my anger. Your posts are great, and I am sure they resonate with all those who read them. They are so "real"...I wish I knew about the situation in Eastern Europe long before now. I wish I knew more eastern Europeans period. Stay safe.
Heartwarming to read your story. I remember being on the train trip from Berlin to my pen pal Katya in St Petersburg and it was exactly like you describe, with drinking tea from the samoar (price: 1 rouble or 1 D-mark) and playing cards with strangers. I am looking forward to the sequel. You are a gifted writer.
Thank you, Niels! I respect your good memories about trips to Russia, however I want to ask you not to bring them into these conversations. I’m talking about the place that Russians stole from me. I can’t take a train ride to Crimea and visit my grandma’s house anymore - all because of Russians. So, such comparisons extremely trigger me, thank you for understanding.
That’s really lovely. I remember the anticipation of our regular family holidays at a quiet beach town and your essay brought that all back. Your grandmother sounds like an amazing woman! Such special memories.
Thank you, Tanya! My grandma is 84.y.o. now, and she is my role model!
I can hear the train rattling!
I’m so glad my words transferred you there!
Your grandkids will love story time with grandma Darya! Awesome storytelling skills! Loving it!
Thank you!
Darya, I was enjoying your journey more and more, the beautiful scenery, the interesting people, and I was even feeling the vibrations of the train, until that last paragraph suddenly ended my pleasant daydream. I am so sorry for what happened (because of the russian invaders) to your grandmother and the rest of your family, and to so many other innocent people.
Thank you, Bill! This is exactly how it feels like in real life. You live your usual life with its moments of everyday joys, until suddenly it ends, because Russians decided that they want your land, your house, everything you have and they want you to serve them. If you don’t agree, they will wage a war on you.
Dear Darya, I am so sorry that I hurt you. I have these negative feelings about Russia, too, although of course not in the intensity that you are having them. My memories are from around 1990, to give you some context. I have no contact to those people anymore and think it would be an embarrassment if they talked to me today.
God this is so beautiful
Thank you, Marcin!
Great description of your childhood adventure. It really sparked the imagination and made me want to be there. I hope you get to fulfill the dream to return to Crimea and that a time will come when these times will feel like a distant nightmare.
Thank you, Michael! I hope you’ll get a chance to visit Crimea some time in future too! It’s a special and very beautiful place.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ex2r86G0sdc
Thank you, David!
The news of the ruzzian air strike is prompting me to say more. As f'ing outrageous and sadly sickening were the attacks, apparently the "orcs" (1st time I have ever used that term, but no other seems appropriate) published a news release bragging that the attack was "on target","on goal". What's almost as bad is that there are many people who just don't care about what is happening in Eastern Europe, not because they are bad or stupid but because IMHO the legacy media sources do not do a good job contextualizing. For sure, the big hitters will publish pictures and report this or that attack but then they move on and talk about the Kardashians.
As imperfect as were are as a species, and as imperfect as the western democracies can seem, at least we value human potential. Your grandmother is/was an example of what so many so people in ruzzian don't get, we want a world where everyone with potential can find pathways to realize their full human potential. It isn't about cis this, or a trans that...it is what is possible when people are free to follow their dreams.
What kind of world brags about targeting civilian infrastructures, spends millions of dollars for the purpose of terrorizing innocent civilians....
So, as glib, as my initial response was to your well written post. It, your train experiences, helped to contextualize the struggle going on in Eastern Europe. They remind me of what it means to be human, to have a human life.
I believe where I am from, commuter train service was phased out just before my 10th birthday. My personal experiences with train rides were the opposite. My father developed schizophrenia when I was about 5 or 6. It did not come on gradually, but suddenly and back then it was considered hopeless. People were locked up. As a child, I took everything matter of factly, except when my mother would wake us (without warning) in the middle of the night, make us put on our best clothes and then have us walk about two miles to the closest train depot. From there it was about a three hour train ride to Ponoka.
The train rides were from south to north, and we could at least catch the "morning sun" but other than that I was bored. Later in life I grew to appreciate the rolling yellow canola fields but back then I was missing "cartoons" or playing soccer. The mental institution itself was no Crimea. It was all kind of surreal, everything was so antiseptic, and empty like the movie set at Downton Abbey without the actors. Some might use the word "gothic" to describe the grounds at the institution, but to a young boy it was "boring."
My last memory of our train trips was a meeting my father's doctor had with my parents. Both of my parents were there, and the doctor was almost scolding my father telling him how lucky he was to have my mother as a wife. Like everything, I never understood what was going on but later, much later, perhaps too late even I eventually did. I guess back then some sort miracle drug had become mainstream and for my father the excesses of his illnesses were containable.
It's impossible to predict what our childhood experiences have on us, nor the effect of strong people have on shaping the trajectory of our life, but I know with an 100% certainty that the people in Eastern Europe want the same sort of freedoms that many in the west either take for granted or don't fully understand.
One thing that many don't understand in the "west", including myself, is how to counter the informational war ruzzia is waging. I like your posts Darya, I believe in your posts in that they can and will help us to understand what the war is really about which is what has more value to society, human potential or the net worth of the so called Enlighted few like Putin and his kind.
Thank you for sharing your memories, David! I’m really sorry that your father suffered from schizophrenia, and I remember you mentioning that you were not on good terms with him and that he caused you trauma. I don’t have a relationship with my dad, so I can relate. I hope that in future you’ll have a pleasant train ride to some beautiful place (not necessary in Ukraine, but somewhere else), that will override these negative associations and traumatic memories.
I’m glad to hear that my writing helps you to understand more about Ukraine and Eastern Europe, that’s my goal! By sharing my memories, I hope to connect people with my native region and show that we are all humans with the same feelings, dreams and struggles; that we have so much in common, despite being from different countries and even continents.
It was probably narcissistic of me to write what I did, and when I did. This "war" is unhinging me, and the news this morning just re-amped my anger. Your posts are great, and I am sure they resonate with all those who read them. They are so "real"...I wish I knew about the situation in Eastern Europe long before now. I wish I knew more eastern Europeans period. Stay safe.
Heartwarming to read your story. I remember being on the train trip from Berlin to my pen pal Katya in St Petersburg and it was exactly like you describe, with drinking tea from the samoar (price: 1 rouble or 1 D-mark) and playing cards with strangers. I am looking forward to the sequel. You are a gifted writer.
Thank you, Niels! I respect your good memories about trips to Russia, however I want to ask you not to bring them into these conversations. I’m talking about the place that Russians stole from me. I can’t take a train ride to Crimea and visit my grandma’s house anymore - all because of Russians. So, such comparisons extremely trigger me, thank you for understanding.