May
May has been hard. May next month be better.
May is usually my favorite month of the year. It’s the month of flowers, warm days, and my birthday. In childhood, May was the last month of school, which meant that summer was right around the corner. However, this May has been very hard.
This May, my feed was full of countless obituaries of young, talented, brave Ukrainians. I followed many of them on social media, and it seemed that nothing could happen to them, but Russians killed them. Obituaries of soldiers and medics came side by side with obituaries of people who were killed in their homes, in stores, at work, and at playgrounds by Russian missiles and bombs. Entire families were wiped out. Entire towns and villages were razed to the ground. Yet, all this month, Western politicians were debating whether to allow Ukraine to strike missile launch sites in Russia. I often think that Ukrainians are the best of us because the world seems to be completely drowned in hypocrisy, corruption, and cowardice.
This May, too many people were downplaying the suffering of Ukrainians and comparing the deaths of Ukrainians to the deaths of the victims in a different war in order to feel good about themselves. The fact that Russia occupies the places with the most casualties, no one has access to them, and no one can count hundreds of thousands of victims doesn’t bother these people. You can scream about Mariupol and mass graves that are visible from space as much as you can, but it will have no effect whatsoever. I don’t understand how anyone can compare people’s suffering and, at the same time, think that they are the most empathetic and caring people in the world. This May was filled with anger and disappointment towards so many.
This May was full of tears and emotions as I came to see my family I hadn’t seen for 8 years. It was full of sadness over the missed opportunities and attempts to catch up on all the lost years. It was full of reliving old traumas and healing. It was the month of building bridges, rejoicing when it was possible to achieve, and sobbing over the ones that seemed irreparable.
This May has been dark and heavy, bittersweet and nostalgic, hopeful and despairing. In the vortex of thoughts, feelings, and emotions, one stands up — the desire to live, love, and build a future despite everything.
Below is the excerpt from a poem I wrote last year that summarizes this May:
“So much pain, so much indifference, so much injustice. And at the same time, so much desire to live.”
I apologize for not posting a family recipe this month. I’ll do my best to post it in the next few weeks. Thank you for your understanding. I put so much work and time into this recipe, and I hope you’ll like it.
Meanwhile, you can browse five simple and delicious summer recipes from Eastern Europe here:
Warmly,
Darya
Email: daryazorka@substack.com
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Darya I agree with your statement "I often think that Ukrainians are the best of us because the world seems to be completely drowned in hypocrisy, corruption, and cowardice." Ukraine is fighting for a free world and it is also beyond me why we are tying Ukraine's hands. It is so cruel. When you get attacked your best way to win is to hit back hard from the beginning. If only Ukraine had the permission to attack ruzzian targets in ruzzia from the beginning. I know Ukraine will win but the cost is so high because of the world's cowardice. I am ashamed at the U.S. Please take care of yourself and always keep your family in your heart. You have lots of us who care about you and Ukraine. We won't give up on you.
I'm so sorry this month has been so challenging and sad for you, Darya. But it's also such a relief to hear about your reunion with your family in Poland over the last month! So there is a small light in the darkness. The world is in a lot of pain right now, most especially in Ukraine, with so many millions of refugees like yourself, so much loss, death of loved ones, entire families, lives destroyed. The hope that I find is in people like yourself, who are trying so hard to make a difference in any way they can, showing us what can be done with courage, strength, and belief in a better future for all of humanity. Blessings and prayers for you and your family. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us, and for the delicious recipes. Many hugs to you, Darya. Don't ever give up looking for the light.