Holding on
Personal reflections on life during the never-ending storm and a poem about finding hope.
Once or twice each year, I take a break from all social media and the Internet, and every time it repeats the same pattern. At the beginning, it feels impossibly hard to disconnect, my hands are anxiously reaching for the phone as addicts reach for the bottle or pill, my mind is spinning and is full of fear that I would miss something very important. The ongoing war and the state of the world add urgency because anything could happen any second. Yet, after several weeks, I start to forget where I left my phone, I feel calm and grounded, and somehow, I didn’t miss anything crucial. The news that I need to know always finds me one way or another without me being chronically online.
However, there is a huge difference between people who purposely stay ignorant in times of change and despair and those who give all their hearts and need breaks to keep a balance. In the utter shock of 2022, my social media was flooded with posts of unaffected people who said that it was okay to be happy and continue living your life when Russian bombs were falling on Kyiv, and my husband’s family were running for their lives. The people online kept saying that it was okay to go on vacation, or throw a birthday party, or not read the news at all, because wars happen all the time and you shouldn’t put your life on hold because of them. It’s hard to describe the rage I felt reading those posts, but a year or so later, I found myself saying similar things: that we need to keep on living and find joy even in the midst of grief and madness.
My family and life were directly affected by the war, and it gave a different weight and meaning to my words about finding joy without making me sound ignorant and shallow. However, it applies to everyone who has kept their eyes and hearts open and has borne witness all these years, compared to those who hid their heads in the sand. In 2026, life only became harder, but if I could share one message to all caring people who read this essay, it would be this: We are allowed to take breaks and take care of ourselves, and it doesn’t make us bad people.
Below is a poem I wrote in 2024. I long for the day when it stops being relevant. However, the truth is, this day may never come, and we need to keep living our lives regardless.
*** When each day consists of injustice and grief, When you can’t change things you want so much to change, When your heart can’t take all this pain and don’t break, How can one stay strong and continue to live? How to love and to hope in the darkest of times? How to find the strength to get up every day? How can one stay afloat when the storm is inside? How can one witness madness but remain sane? I’m holding on to little things as to a life ring. Hugs, sun rays, flowers, the purring of a cat. Every morning, I wake up and prepare myself: for the bad that will happen, and for the good I choose to see.
Recent photos from my life that capture the moments of joy:
While I was taking a break, many new readers subscribed to From My Heart, and I’m so happy to welcome you here! This newsletter is a true labor of love, and I hope you’ll love it, too. I’ve been writing on Substack for more than 3 years, and have shared countless articles about the culture and history of Eastern Europe, poems that have never been translated before, and heirloom family recipes. I created categories for easier navigation through the archive, and I hope you will browse them and learn something new and fascinating about Ukraine, Belarus, and the Eastern European region as a whole.
Thank you for reading and supporting From My Heart! I can only continue doing it with your support.
Warmly,
Darya
Email: daryazorka@substack.com
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Rest is Resistance. Blessings to you and your loved ones.
We all grieve the loss of a happier more carefree time. You’re living under direct and constant threat. It’s absolutely right and necessary to hold to those things that give you strength.