Belarusian culture, family memories, and Russian colonialism
Personal stories from life in Belarus, some Belarusian history, and insights on how Russian colonialism influenced my life since the first days.
Every now and then, when I recall memories from Belarus, I realize that many situations were a direct result of Russian colonialism. Whenever I have these moments, it feels like a punch in the stomach. When I understand that there is a reason why I behaved in a certain way or had certain experiences and that I had no control over it because I was subjected to Russian oppression and influence from my very first days – it makes me incredibly sad. I want to share a few stories with you (and some Belarusian history along the way) that may seem like random family stories, but they have one thing in common – they are a direct result of Russian colonialism and the systematic erasure of Belarusian culture and identity.
My grandparents left their native villages and moved to town for work. Even though they grew up speaking Belarusian, they switched to Russian and taught it to their children in order to fit into society and find good jobs. Russians did everything to eliminate Belarusian identity and culture over the centuries, starting from 1792 when they invaded the Grand Duchy of Lithuania that Belarus was part of, and where the old Belarusian language was one of the official languages. From the 18th century and moving into the Soviet times, everything in Belarus had been systemically Russified, and those who resisted were imprisoned, sent to labor camps, and killed. Centuries of colonization and oppression made people believe that Belarusian language was inferior to Russian. During the time my grandparents lived, if you spoke Russian, you were considered an intelligent person, and if you spoke Belarusian, you were viewed as an uneducated villager. So, no wonder my grandparents didn’t want to teach Belarusian to their kids – they wanted them to have better life opportunities and not be treated as second-class citizens. However, my great-grandma, who stayed in the village, continued to speak Belarusian. I almost don’t remember her, because I was only 2 y.o when she died. She lived with us during the last years of her life. I have very vague memories of her, but I clearly remember her always sitting by the window in our kitchen.
Mom told me that Great-grandma liked to read to me, sitting by that window and holding me on her knees. She had very bad vision, so instead of actually reading, she just pointed at the pictures and told me what was drawn there. She was speaking to me in Belarusian. Once, Mom came to the kitchen and witnessed a situation that became a funny family story. A bunny in Belarusian is “trusik”. A pair of children’s underwear in Russian is “trusiki.” Little me was very confused. Whenever my great-grandma showed a picture of a bunny and told me: “Look, this is “trusik,” I was pointing at my underwear. This story made me laugh before, but now it makes me pretty sad.
Belarus had a brief period of independence after the collapse of the Soviet Union, only a few years before Lukashenko came to power in 1994 and started to roll things back. On the one hand, Belarusian activists and pro-Belarusian politicians were eager to bring change, develop a national identity, revive Belarusian language and culture, and take a course towards Europe and away from Russia. On the other hand, the majority of the Belarusian population was confused and afraid of drastic change. The desire of politicians to switch every aspect of life to Belarusian in a very short period of time was perceived by the population as “repressive” and “undemocratic.” Belarusians, who just experienced the collapse of everything they knew (Soviet Union), were scared of further change. That’s why they voted for Lukashenko. He promised to bring the stability they all craved and skillfully marketed himself as a “moderate” politician who wouldn’t force anyone to change their language or habits. Looking back, it pains me to see how Belarusians probably lost their best chance for freedom and independence and instead chose “stability,” which quickly became a suffocating dictatorship under Russian control.
I was born in 1992, and when I went to preschool, Lukashenko had already become the president. All the things introduced to bring Belarusian language back were quickly disappearing, including Belarusian schools, which were switching back to teaching in Russian. I briefly attended a Belarusian-speaking class at preschool before it was removed completely. I remember we were taught to say “hi” and “goodbye” in Belarusian as we entered or left the class. We learned Belarusian songs, dances, and had children’s books written in Belarusian language. However, every child in my class spoke Russian. I remember how I was embarrassed to say greetings in Belarusian every day in front of everyone. I remember it very clearly, although I was only 3 y.o. at that time – and I was already ashamed to speak Belarusian. When the class was closed, and I started to attend a Russian-speaking class instead, I was relieved that I didn’t have to speak Belarusian anymore. I was only a toddler, and Russian colonialism had already affected me and influenced my perception of my own culture.
I always loved old photos of my grandma wearing Belarusian embroidered clothes. One day, I visited her, and as we looked through her photo albums, she said she misses such clothes so much. She used to wear them every day in her childhood and adolescent years but stopped as soon as she moved to town. All Belarusian embroidered clothes she used to have were lost over the years. She told me that she tried to find an embroidered blouse in the stores in our town, but it seemed that such clothes were not sold anymore. She looked very sad, and I instantly decided to find a Belarusian embroidered shirt for her. I was living in Minsk, the capital of Belarus, and I thought I would definitely find it there.
I started to search for it everywhere, but I couldn’t find what I was looking for. The ones I saw were either for theater or folk performances or looked more like a souvenir than something you would wear daily, and the sizes and designs were very limited. However, I was determined to find an embroidered blouse for my grandma. So I went online and found a shop in Ukraine that sold embroidered shirts and had a delivery to Belarus. The shop had a large variety of embroidered blouses in different colors, sizes, and patterns. I bought a white shirt with red embroidery that resembled the Belarusian style and gifted it to my grandma on her birthday. I said it was a Belarusian blouse that I accidentally found at some store in Minsk. It was that moment when you lie for good. I just wanted my grandma to be happy. I wanted her to have something that reminded her of her childhood and her heritage.
Grandma started crying as soon as she opened the package. She gently stroked the shirt and said she had been dreaming of it for years. She hurried to her bedroom to put it on, and when she came back wearing it, her eyes were shining. She even put on a red lipstick to match the color. She said it was the best gift in her life, that she would cherish it for years, and that she would wear it only to celebrations. When her daughter remarried later in life, Grandma proudly wore this embroidered shirt to her wedding. Everyone around her complimented her and asked where she bought it, and she answered: “It was a gift from my granddaughter. She bought it for me in Minsk.”
Russian colonialism erased Belarusian culture to such an extent that it became almost impossible to buy a traditional Belarusian embroidered shirt in Belarus. My grandma grew up wearing beautiful embroidered shirts every day, as did everyone around her. But as time passed, these clothes disappeared from the stores and people’s lives. Belarusian culture was shrunk to some folksy souvenir stuff that is used to entertain bored tourists. Once, I had a conversation online with someone who tried to persuade me that Belarusian culture is not erased because you can easily buy traditional Belarusian shirts at the tourist market in Moscow. I think they didn’t even realize that this example only proves my point. Russians have been deliberately erasing Belarusian culture over the centuries, trying to make it look like something backward, deficient, and tasteless. Yet, despite all their attempts, it still exists, and I hope it will continue to do so.
Warmly,
Darya
Email: daryazorka@substack.com
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Darya, your wonderful writings help me see the world differently -- past and present.
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And there is a cautionary tale in your essay, a powerful lesson for me to remember (as you wrote):
“...Looking back, it pains me to see how Belarusians lost probably their best chance for freedom and independence and instead chose “stability” that quickly turned into a suffocating dictatorship under Russian control.”
The cultural dynamics of colonialism are very well known also in North America, but paradoxically kept hidden, especially in the U.S. I am speaking about the native peoples. When I was growing up in western Canada, I was aware of the genocidal wars and the reservations, but I never connected the dots between the past and the long term consequences of forced cultural assimilation. It wasn't until I was in a room full of young Mohawks when they responded to the question I posed to them which was why don't you assimilate. I have travel the world many times over, and very seldom have I witness whole peoples literally destroyed their whole communities with alcohol as I did in western Canada.
I may seem to be coming from left field on what was discussed by this recent post, but I believe I do have a point. In a way, I was like a Russian when I addressed those Mohawks. I was completely self assured not so much in the superiority of my white culture, as I was by the certainty that natives were destroying themselves.
My earliest memories are peppered with scenes of passed out natives laying on sidewalks, sleeping and drinking underneath bridges (especially near rail road tracks). I literally knew nothing about the residential school system where children were ripped from their parents and forced to live and attend schools ran by Catholic priests, but I did go to grade school with a number of 1st nation people who were bused in so I while my friends might've been shocked by my directness (I do remember a couple of them begging me with their eyes to shut up else we were going to get kill) I knew enough that my directness would be respected. And, I was right.
For sure, I think there was a couple of seconds, given the looks between the Mohawks in the room whether they should give me the boots, but their leader in words far more eloquent that I possessed made the case as follows. He said look at your cities and look at our lands, your cities are full of garbage and strangers who steal and murder each other, he asked me if I have ever seen any pollution on native soil (treaty land). He said in his culture a person's word was his bond, and that native societies did not have the need for prisons nor lawyers, did not force their parents into nursing homes to be forgotten...Quite honestly, I wasn't expecting what I was hearing. The zinger was when he asked the rhetorical question after ripping to shreds the superiority of the so-called advantages of living in planned communities, and mass consumerism which was would a native American ever have built a nuclear bomb. He knew I knew the answer which was never.
It's been many years since that crazy night. I have doubts about retroactive responsibility as a feasible public policy. I have read that California is experimenting with making cash payments to descendents of African slaves. I think such a policy will alienate people taking an interest in building a better legal system. On the other hand, despite my convictions, I know many people will be like Russians and don't care about the past.
There is no way I can relate to what it is like to be a Belarusian. The sum and substance of my argument is if one believes in the virtues of freedom, then one must believe in the utility of progress whatever road that takes a person. For myself, I now understand that the reason that Canadians should support native rights is that as a people it allows us to think outside the proverbial box, and that is power. Furthermore, understanding the relationship between our human nature and nature itself allows us to comprehend advance scientific ideas, especially in quantum mechanics. Is time linear, or a function of a superposition of multiple states? Surrendipendity abounds in pluralistic societies. I now look back and say to myself I am grateful to have been exposed to multiple world views.
If the world does not blow up, the question that will remain is how to prevent the future from becoming old again. I truly believe that Eastern Europeans are way ahead of most of the world because they understand intuitively that the real battle is for the control of the narrative. Terms like "informational space" I read are common expressions to Eastern Europeans. We all have skin in the game now to prevent future NordStreams from empowering jack-ass dictators threatening to blow all of us if we don't bend the knee.
So, I read your words, with much sadness, and as a product of series of invisible cultural privileges that I still barely understand exist I believe that those who think and feel have a choice, to understand and accept the hard road ahead of them, or say fuck it all and try to make lots of money while pretending that their sense of self worth is not being affected.
In my case, I truly believe that native peoples should have full property rights which would be a revolution of sorts in Canada because individuals can not own mineral rights, and I understand the reasoning, but white people have no business telling natives which of their values is legit, which language they should speak. When we do, we demean ourselves and over the long run empower demagogues who will exploit everyone for their own personal gain.
In other words, there are many of us who want to understand on human terms what we up against...and in the process, we are going to find new ways to kick some ass. Hopefully, not as brutal as was done during the Reformation, but something needs to be done to prevent future Putins and Elon Musks.
In the final analysis, very few of us can translate our hard earned lessons into something practical for the future, not as individuals but we can through sharing our ideas and beliefs.
I respect Eastern Europeans so much more than I did before Russia attack Ukraine. I have very high hopes for Eastern Europeans